Weekend Journal

It is truly a gift to wake at 6am and have the birds chirping and the sun almost risen. I stood at my porch this morning, coffee in hand. A very happy cat finally getting to be 'outside' after a long Winter, He is the King of this castle and the porch is his domain.

The comfort of my own bed has lulled away every ounce of jetlag I have had in the last 2 days. Sweden was deeply satisfying but not without a bump in the road or two. Delayed luggage in Copenhagen and a few days of clouds and rain that eventually, with some cosmic begging, gave way to plenty of sun with moderate temps. 

Alas, enough of the small talk. 

The brevity of everything I am feeling right now is of human relationships. One cannot be emotionally lazy in the nurturing of personal connection. Some of the relationships in my life are easy, a few are very difficult and most are a joyful work in progress. 

Inevitably, you have to let go of the most painful ones. The relationships in which you are the eternal repository of blame, shame, jealousy and resentment, or simply unloved. Self-love and forgiveness are the healing balm for these wounds. Faith doesn't hurt either. Time too, has it's magical properties that one day bring light where there was none and if you're lucky---connection, love and understanding return to build upon once more. 

Joy, Ease, Warmth. These are the relationships that we strive for. I would add 'uncomplicated' but anything and everything has it's layers, no matter how little or a lot.

As I returned from Sweden, my oldest son has flown to another part of the world for a period of time to fulfill his duties. I have made a personal decision to make some very large changes in my life while he is away----and the timing is right. I cannot be more proud of my oldest son. All three in fact. These boys are my everything. 

In my previous journal entry, I talked of a 'sparkle' returning to my soul.

Hello sunshine, won't you stay awhile?