Sitting in Silence

 










Coffee is brewing. 

I forgo my usual selection of smooth jazz on my phone and decide on silence this morning. Listening to cars pass by on the wet road. It is raining. It is grey. I have nowhere to be today. 

Sitting at my desk. Sipping coffee.

My cat is snoring. I woke this morning from a disturbing dream. The content of my dreams is often the same. I am talking to someone, pleading with them. Their shadowy figures and cloudy faces ignore me. 

In the silence I am alone. It is bliss.

The faint sounds of a jet engine way up high in the atmosphere. Every night I fall asleep to the sounds of a jet engine. I have an app on my phone that lulls me to sleep as though I were in the cabin of a plane.

Flying off to somewhere. 

My phone rings. I look at the caller. I don't want to answer it. There is only dread on the other line. It won't often begin that way. The conversation. Eventually, it erodes into a blackness.

I can't save you. I've tried. I've lost myself in the meantime.

Sitting in silence. My coffee is warm. Comforting.

In the silence I am alone. It is bliss. 



CJ Ellis





*artwork credit--Thomas Sailot

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